Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Trailer Time Again


I still have this horrible feeling that this movie is going to suck, and this trailer sort of confirms that suspicion in a way, as it feels VERY un-Trek-like... but I will say this: at least it looks like shit happens in this movie. ALL THE TIME. Like... shit just constantly happening. Which has always been my one big beef with STAR TREK. That there are usually HUGE GAPS between shit happening, in which shit does NOT happen. Anyways, I'm still out on this one.

Of course I'll still see it.



I actually already saw this, and I should probably give it it's own blog post, but JCVD (Jean Claude Van-Damme) was fucking AWESOME. It was everything you could want in a movie; funny, action packed, and a meaningful examination of the human condition. I really loved this movie, almost to the point of being moved to tears, TWICE.



FRIDAY the 13TH is sort of a guilty pleasure of mine... I also like some of the HALLOWEEN movies as well, for the same reasons. See... the hero of these movies are not the teenager victims, but the murderous killers themselves, who punish these kids for being stupid, selfish, self absorbed and ignorant fucking TEENAGERS. Notice how the survivors are always the intelligent, open minded, virgins that don't smoke pot or have promiscuous sex... their reward for not being idiot whores is that they get to see adulthood! Jason is trying to SAVE HUMANITY by culling the dead weight of society! As is Micheal Myers. Now, the one difference between the characters is that you have no sympathy for Micheal Myer's, because he has no real motivation to kill these people other than pure malice and the fact that he's FUCKING INSANE. Jason, though, is an almost tragic figure in that he's motivated by a child's desire for revenge. Born deformed and probably a little mentally handicapped, he was mistreated and generally abused by his peers, and cruelly murdered through ignorance and neglect. That doesn't make his unending kill-krazy rampage right, but you can understand why he does it... especially after his mother's death drove him even further into insanity (as if DYING didn't fuck him up enough in the head...).

Anyways, yeah... I can't really justify wanting to watch this movie any more than I can justify having watched all the others. All I know is that usually every even numbered FRIDAY THE 13th is pretty good, while the even numbered ones make no fucking sense whatsoever. JASON X is actually pretty brilliant if you look at it as more of a self-parody than an actual horror movie... and, as Parrish pointed out, it's going to be pretty hard for Jason to top killing an entire space colony... I mean, he could kill teenagers all year and still only fill a barn with bodies.



A homage of sorts to 50's B-Movie monsters and aliens... it really just looks like another uninspired DREAMWORKS CGI movie. Like... not terrible, but not terribly good either. The only thing I really took away from this trailer is that Seth Rogan is a fantastic voice actor. I'd probably see this is nothing else was on that weekend, and I had literally nothing else to do... otherwise this really just only looks like bootleg worthy viewing.



A weird looking foreign film about a time travel gone awry. This actually looks pretty sick.



Parrish and I saw this trailer when we saw QUANTUM OF SOLACE, and both got the same thing out of it: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MOVIE ABOUT? I have no idea.



After seeing that trailer, I can't believe that this franchise isn't based on a video game... because it looks like it's based on a video game.

I actually really liked the first TRANSPORTER, but the second one was a big pile of poo, so I'm hoping this one can make up for that. Either way, I'll see it for Jason Statham... THE BADDEST MUTHAFUCKER IN FILM, YO!



This looks pretty good actually. HANCOCK was really disappointing as a deconstruction of the superhero genre, but this actually seems to really get it. It's about a guy named "Les" who takes an experimental anti-depressant that he thinks gives him super-powers, so he decides the responsible thing for him to do is to become a superhero named "Special." (get it... he's LES until he's SPECIAL, ha ha ha... PUNS and SUPERHEROES are like peanut butter and jam!).

I'll see this.



I hate Tom Cruise as much as the next guy, given that he's a crazy douchebag jackass, and I really hate to support him in any way, but... he was funny in TROPIC THUNDER, and this Bryan Singer directed movie looks pretty sick. It's about an attempt to kill Adolph Hitler made by his own people. Like I said... I hate to support Tom Cruise in any way, but a good movie is a good movie.



I really like Danny Boyle, and he's responsible for making one of my favorite movies ever, SUNSHINE (for real... SUNSHINE is probably in my top five), and I got to say... I've heard nothing but good things about this movie, and the trailer looks EXCELLENT. I'd really like to see this.



Hey, know what totally looks like a better vampire movie than fucking TWILIGHT? THIS ONE. Seriously, I think this Swedish film has got the right idea of how to go about making a Romance-Vampire movie... romantic, yes, but don't lose the spookiness! This looks like just the right amount of spooky and romantic to me! I'd like to see this, but probably won't get the chance, because the theatre will be filled with teenaged girls excited about seeing FUCKING TWILIGHT, featuring efeminate pretty-boys whose "pale skin sparkles like diamonds in twilight." *Shudder* Yeah, they made the right choice.



A film filled with creepy looking Japanese-Horror movie shit, written by David S. Goyer, who has proven that he can either be really good... or fucking GOD AWFUL depending on who's directing. "Can you be haunted by someone who was never born?" APPARENTLY YOU CAN! HA HA! Again... shit like this is another guilty pleasure of mine.



More spooky shit.



I'd sort of go see this just to see Bruce Campbell in person... though I do like the line, "You need someone to face a heinous monster, and stop him in his tracks..." Heh heh... no one uses the word "Heinous" anymore.



Clint Eastwood once again proving that you're never to old to be a FUCKING BADASS! A bitter, racist, and hardened old man stubbornly refusing to admit his age, learns the error of this ways when he becomes a vigiliante to protect his chinese neighbours from a vicious street gang. Clint Eastwood is still the fucking man. This movie looks pretty great.



God that's a terrible subtitle... another guilty pleasure of mine, is that I like UNDERWORLD, which is hard to justify after the second movie fucked it up (that Super-Vampire guy was fucking cool though). I don't think we really needed a prequel though.



A biopic that I actually give a fuck about. I's gotta represent for Biggie, yo! Still... I can't believe they made a movie about Biggie before they made a movie about Tupac. That seems fucked up somehow. Either way... this movie will have a great soundtrack.



I can't help but feel that this film will quite possibly be fucking unwatchable. It looks like Frank Miller jerked off onto celuloid. Good GOD. >_<



Is this a remake of the 1980's movie HOUSE (I can't actually remember what that movie was about...)? Or is this a really off the wall theatrical re-imagining of the popular TV medical drama, HOUSE?

No comments: