ZACH WORTON: Working Class Hero.

http://flashcitrus.blogspot.com/

I know I have a very limited readership of basically people that know me personally, who read my blog because they see me in person at least once a week and are afraid I'm going to spring a pop quiz on them, all like, "Oh, this is just like that thing I wrote on my Blog... DID YOU READ THAT OR NOT, ASSHOLE!?!" So most people know that I hang out at and volunteer a lot of my time at my favorite comic book store in the world (so far... I haven't been to Japan yet), THE BEGUILING, and have health social interaction with the staff. One of whom is comic artist Zach Worton (whose other blog BALLAD OF A CROSSHATCH JUNKIE, I also link to at the side of this page).

Zach is currently splitting his time between working on an original graphic novel about the Gold Rush called "KLONDIKE", which looks to be a pretty sick piece of historical fiction, something I've only recently begun to take interest in, mostly because of things like DEADWOOD and ME AND THE DEVIL BLUES: The Life of Robert Johnson, and being resentful of how socially awkward nerds go around confirming all the negative stereotypes about comics that he hates.

Zach's a great guy, and I admire him greatly. He's the hardest working guy I know, and has a work ethic similar to mine, which I respect greatly, because when I really get worked up (heh... puns) and really get into that "workhorse zone", I tend to get frustrated with people that can't keep up with me; which is, most times, totally unfair, because I do a physically demanding job on a regular basis. I am also prone to taking any job I'm doing too seriously, because I'm afraid of letting anyone down. Thus, I like working with Zach because he can lift heavy shit, mostly uncomplainingly (you can't NOT complain about backbreaking phyical labor, no matter what your work ethic is like), for long periods of time, and with great speed. Zach is the kind of that that, when presented with a difficult task, does not hesitate or waste time voice the "injustice" of the task, nor does he tip-toe around it leaving it till th last possible moment, but rather tackles it head on and gets the fucking job done.

When he's not lifting the shit out of boxes at the store, though, Zach has me totally beat, because he goes home to his second job working on comics; something I've been putting off for far too long. Which is what brings us to the whole point of this post... I am utterly amazed that Zack is producing not only his graphic novel, but a series of short webcomics, which you can read at his new comics blog FLASHCITRUS.

I'm a little embarassed to admit that I just found out about this today, because I haven't been keeping up with people's blogs, but I'm glad I decided to do so today. I don't read any webcomics (well... I read NO PINK PONIES), mostly because... I fucking hate webcomics. It's irrational hatred based on broad generalizations and bad experiences I've had with webcomics, which, in theory, is a totally valid medium that just happens to produce mostly VAPID, DISHONEST BULLSHIT. Seriously, every since THAT WEEKLY stopped, I have not given a shit about webcomics. ENTER ZACH WORTON.

Now, a lot of this might be me projecting, as I actually know Zach and and can confirm it, but FLASHCITRUS, though only a few strips long thus far, is the most brutally honest and unforgiving observational humor strip I've ever seen. It's mostly about venting frustration, but there's a subtle self-depricating side to it as well. I'm also impressed with Zach's utter willingness to tackle uncomfortable subject matter, such as his feelings on growing old and death, after being forced to confront his mortality when visiting his girlfriends grandfather. The style he chose to draw the comic in, that psuedo-OWL magazine looking funny animal style, goes a long way to difusing what would otherwise become a total downer of a self-introspective story while at the same time adding a fun visual contrast between obviously cartoon visuals and the most serious, viseral, subject matter of the strips.

I really hope to see more of these in the future, and would like to maybe see them collected in a nice little book at some point. Good job Zach; you've made me not hate webcomics again.

SPEAKING OF DRAGONBALL...

Now... I'm not going to say I told you so, but... I fucking told you so.

This is WAY more terrible than even I expected it would be. Why would you bother to license a hugely popular franchise to make a live action adaptation, and then the only element you keep of the original source material is THE TITLE and the NAMES OF THE CHARACTERS?

I don't even fucking care. This is pitiful. Fuck it. I'm not even curious to see how back they fucked it up, because I can already tell they fucked it up BAD.

In closing... FUCK DRAGONBALL EVOLUTION.

"YO! SON GOKU AND HIS FRIENDS RETURN" (Thank you Nadia Oxford)

Part2
Part3
Part4

Because I remain as if a small child inside, I present to you Toriyama's new DRAGONBALL OVA. Thanks to Nadia Oxford (AKA Mumbling Kitsune) for alerting me to it through her column on the unfortunately shitty new ANIMEONDVD site (sorry... Mania fucked it up. It used to be much better).

While this probably won't register on many peoples radars as being anything all that signifigant, as it's sort of a fluffy filler story, it's a nice bit of oldschool anime fun. Basically, there's a big party and everyone's invited in an almost Perez-esque character-wad, which is interupted by Vegeta's long lost loser brother, Tarble, who was exiled long ago for being an embarassing wuss. He crashes onto Earth with his ridiculous looking Pac-Wife and pleads for his big brother's help in beating up some Freeza-Level Space-Jerks. Goku and the gang, hungry for some action as they haven't put the boots to some kind of God-Like Cosmic Menace for almost two long years, argue about who will handle this new menace. After drawing radish straws, it's decided that these new alien threats will be deligated to the children, who need training anyways. Hilarity and property damage ensue.

As much as I love the episodes of DRAGONBALL where stuff gets blowed up, my favorite episodes were actually ones like this, were you get to see these characters completely out of their regular context. My absolute FAVORITE episode of DRAGONBALL is actually a filler episode, which was never in the manga, but could easily have fit in with Toriyama's brand of nonsensical pratfall humor, is the one where Chi-Chi forces Goku to go get his Drivers License, and Picollo decides to challenge him to a Drivers License-off, which almost destroys and entire city, and totals their respective cars. This episode is more up that alley, which is one of the strengths of DRAGONBALL that has made it an endearing fan favorite for the past 25+ years; the frictionless marriage of over-the-top martial arts action with ridiculous prat-fall comedy.

So while this episode doesn't really come off as being all that significant in terms of giving content starved DRAGONBALL fans any sort of closure post-series closing (DRAGONBALL has one of those typical shonen manga, "And they had adventures FOREVER" endings that's not actually an ending), it is a fun, nice looking, diversion that reminds one of why they liked this series in the first place, and why they still like it.

GATCHAMAN: I'm On Board for This Too.

I'm soooooooooooooo fucking on board for this.

ASTRO BOY Teaser: GET ON BOARD, MUTHAFUCKERS!

How can this not excite you?

How are you not filled with the awe and excitement of your youth? How can you not be overwhelmed with nostalgia?

When I was a kid, probably around 6 or 7, I got up at 6:00 every day to watch first THE MIGHTY HERCULES, but that what I was really up to see was ASTRO BOY. And, as the impressionable young boy that I was, what I took from that show was that I wish, hoped, and dreamed... that I was a robot. For real, no exaggeration. I wanted to be a robot. A robot with a heart and soul. The protector of humanity and robot-kind alike; the World's hero.

I remember so many great stories from ASTRO BOY... the robot liar, the Snow Leopard, the Robot God, Uran's Twin, Robio and Jullie-8, and of course, the greatest of them all; The World's Strongest Robot. Stories filled with adventure, romance, imagination, and likable, memorable, characters.

But why is it ASTRO BOY resonates so much with a young boy, like I was? I think it might be that I projected myself into Astro... though a robot, he had a family, friends, and went to school. And while he eventually gained friends, at first he was picked on and ostrecised for being different... hell, looking at his origin, he was even horribly abused by first his father, and then the robot circus he was sold into; but he persevered. He questioned the descisions of adults and had a childhood niavitte that I could identify with; he just wanted to save everyone. Astro didn't judge the villian, but rather looked for a compromise. That didn't mean he was stupid though. Astro was incredibly smart, and after some deliberation, his positronic brain could come up with the optimum solution to any problem. Astro represents childrens empowerment fantasy at it's finest, because it emphasises the best qualities of a hero: Honor, respect for all life, seek compromise before conflict, but take decisive action, and most importantly, use your strength to help others. Thus it was through that projection, that fantasy, that I shaped my moral compass.

So as to this trailer... am I excited? You bet your ass! What I don't get is why other people aren't? While looking for the trailer, all I came across was petty bitching and moaning; people that didn't like the look of it, that questioned the need for a revitalization of a childhood classic, that didn't think Tezuka would approve of the use of computer animation... Fuck that.

How does it look? EXCELLENT. IMAGI is a great studio that's been slowly but surely tempering their craft, and TMNT, while not a perfect movie, was nevertheless well directed and had some pretty astounding animation, and more importantly, art direction. I think that Tezuka's art actually lends itself quite well to computer animation because designed with animation in mind; every single character in Astro Boy is simply constructed with solid, geometric, volumes and very little unnessessary detail, which lends itself greatly to computer animation (as a student of animation myself, I have to say, the simpler the structure, the easier to animation). My only real critical point is that I wish the eyes on Astro were bigger than they are. But look at what they show us; the tunnelling through the ground, arms flailing wildly, flashlight eyes, and exploding through Mount Fuji, are both lifted directly from the 1960's opening of the show. This shows me that they're being true to the character. I'll even wager they put the machine guns in his ass.

As to the need to bring Astro back... have you ever watched kids movies, or saturday morning cartoons these days? Have you seen what we're teaching our kids? I'm not saying it's all garbage, but... what do kids learn from fucking BRATZ, WINX CLUB, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, or FAIRY GODPARENTS? It's all vacuous, commercial, and mean spirited. Have you ever just HUNG OUT with kids these days? O_O Do we need to revitalize a hero that once served faithfully as a positive rolemodel for everything that one should aspire to be? You're damn right! And all the better that it's something from everyones childhood; parents should be able to identify with their children, and there's nothing kids love more than to have their interests validated by adults, rather than being met with a condesending, "That's nice dear." Children's eyes sparkle when you show interest in what they are interested in. How many parents can tell their children stories of a character they loved that the children haven't heard of? "You think that's something? Why I remember the time Astro had to save the world's Seven Strongest Robots from Pluto, the Strongest Robot of them all!"

As for whether or not Tezuka would want to see Astro in all his 3D animated glory? Are you fucking kidding me, here? The man practically invented animation the Japanese! To his dying days he was on the forfront of artistic innovation. If he had a chance to actually build a robot boy with a 10,000 horsepower heart, he would have. As much nostalgia I have for classical animation, especially pretaining to this character, Astro Boy isn't about the past; he's about the bright and shining future. The promise of a better tomorrow. PROGRESS! INNOVATION! HOPE! Astro Boy has already conquered every aspect of the two-dimensional medium; time for the next.

So get on board with me people. Leave behind your pessimism and anger! Leave behind your paranoia and selfishness! Leave behind your anxieties and fears! By embracing a nostalgic hero of the past, may we find hope for a brighter tomorrow!

Trailer Time Again

STAR TREK XI



I still have this horrible feeling that this movie is going to suck, and this trailer sort of confirms that suspicion in a way, as it feels VERY un-Trek-like... but I will say this: at least it looks like shit happens in this movie. ALL THE TIME. Like... shit just constantly happening. Which has always been my one big beef with STAR TREK. That there are usually HUGE GAPS between shit happening, in which shit does NOT happen. Anyways, I'm still out on this one.

Of course I'll still see it.

JCVD

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/jcvd/

I actually already saw this, and I should probably give it it's own blog post, but JCVD (Jean Claude Van-Damme) was fucking AWESOME. It was everything you could want in a movie; funny, action packed, and a meaningful examination of the human condition. I really loved this movie, almost to the point of being moved to tears, TWICE.

FRIDAY THE 13th

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/fridaythe13th/

FRIDAY the 13TH is sort of a guilty pleasure of mine... I also like some of the HALLOWEEN movies as well, for the same reasons. See... the hero of these movies are not the teenager victims, but the murderous killers themselves, who punish these kids for being stupid, selfish, self absorbed and ignorant fucking TEENAGERS. Notice how the survivors are always the intelligent, open minded, virgins that don't smoke pot or have promiscuous sex... their reward for not being idiot whores is that they get to see adulthood! Jason is trying to SAVE HUMANITY by culling the dead weight of society! As is Micheal Myers. Now, the one difference between the characters is that you have no sympathy for Micheal Myer's, because he has no real motivation to kill these people other than pure malice and the fact that he's FUCKING INSANE. Jason, though, is an almost tragic figure in that he's motivated by a child's desire for revenge. Born deformed and probably a little mentally handicapped, he was mistreated and generally abused by his peers, and cruelly murdered through ignorance and neglect. That doesn't make his unending kill-krazy rampage right, but you can understand why he does it... especially after his mother's death drove him even further into insanity (as if DYING didn't fuck him up enough in the head...).

Anyways, yeah... I can't really justify wanting to watch this movie any more than I can justify having watched all the others. All I know is that usually every even numbered FRIDAY THE 13th is pretty good, while the even numbered ones make no fucking sense whatsoever. JASON X is actually pretty brilliant if you look at it as more of a self-parody than an actual horror movie... and, as Parrish pointed out, it's going to be pretty hard for Jason to top killing an entire space colony... I mean, he could kill teenagers all year and still only fill a barn with bodies.

MONSTERS vs ALIENS

http://www.apple.com/trailers/dreamworks/monstersvsaliens/

A homage of sorts to 50's B-Movie monsters and aliens... it really just looks like another uninspired DREAMWORKS CGI movie. Like... not terrible, but not terribly good either. The only thing I really took away from this trailer is that Seth Rogan is a fantastic voice actor. I'd probably see this is nothing else was on that weekend, and I had literally nothing else to do... otherwise this really just only looks like bootleg worthy viewing.

TIME CRIMES

http://www.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/timecrimes/

A weird looking foreign film about a time travel gone awry. This actually looks pretty sick.

SEVEN POUNDS

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/sevenpounds/

Parrish and I saw this trailer when we saw QUANTUM OF SOLACE, and both got the same thing out of it: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MOVIE ABOUT? I have no idea.

TRANSPORTER 3

http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/transporter3/

After seeing that trailer, I can't believe that this franchise isn't based on a video game... because it looks like it's based on a video game.

I actually really liked the first TRANSPORTER, but the second one was a big pile of poo, so I'm hoping this one can make up for that. Either way, I'll see it for Jason Statham... THE BADDEST MUTHAFUCKER IN FILM, YO!

SPECIAL

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/special/

This looks pretty good actually. HANCOCK was really disappointing as a deconstruction of the superhero genre, but this actually seems to really get it. It's about a guy named "Les" who takes an experimental anti-depressant that he thinks gives him super-powers, so he decides the responsible thing for him to do is to become a superhero named "Special." (get it... he's LES until he's SPECIAL, ha ha ha... PUNS and SUPERHEROES are like peanut butter and jam!).

I'll see this.

VALKYRIE

http://www.apple.com/trailers/mgm/valkyrie/

I hate Tom Cruise as much as the next guy, given that he's a crazy douchebag jackass, and I really hate to support him in any way, but... he was funny in TROPIC THUNDER, and this Bryan Singer directed movie looks pretty sick. It's about an attempt to kill Adolph Hitler made by his own people. Like I said... I hate to support Tom Cruise in any way, but a good movie is a good movie.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/slumdogmillionaire/

I really like Danny Boyle, and he's responsible for making one of my favorite movies ever, SUNSHINE (for real... SUNSHINE is probably in my top five), and I got to say... I've heard nothing but good things about this movie, and the trailer looks EXCELLENT. I'd really like to see this.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN

http://www.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/lettherightonein/

Hey, know what totally looks like a better vampire movie than fucking TWILIGHT? THIS ONE. Seriously, I think this Swedish film has got the right idea of how to go about making a Romance-Vampire movie... romantic, yes, but don't lose the spookiness! This looks like just the right amount of spooky and romantic to me! I'd like to see this, but probably won't get the chance, because the theatre will be filled with teenaged girls excited about seeing FUCKING TWILIGHT, featuring efeminate pretty-boys whose "pale skin sparkles like diamonds in twilight." *Shudder* Yeah, they made the right choice.

THE UNBORN

http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/theunborn/large.html

A film filled with creepy looking Japanese-Horror movie shit, written by David S. Goyer, who has proven that he can either be really good... or fucking GOD AWFUL depending on who's directing. "Can you be haunted by someone who was never born?" APPARENTLY YOU CAN! HA HA! Again... shit like this is another guilty pleasure of mine.

PLAGUE TOWN

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/plaguetown/

More spooky shit.

MY NAME IS BRUCE

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/mynameisbruce/

I'd sort of go see this just to see Bruce Campbell in person... though I do like the line, "You need someone to face a heinous monster, and stop him in his tracks..." Heh heh... no one uses the word "Heinous" anymore.

GRAN TORINO

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/grantorino/large.html

Clint Eastwood once again proving that you're never to old to be a FUCKING BADASS! A bitter, racist, and hardened old man stubbornly refusing to admit his age, learns the error of this ways when he becomes a vigiliante to protect his chinese neighbours from a vicious street gang. Clint Eastwood is still the fucking man. This movie looks pretty great.

UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/underworldriseofthelycans/high.html

God that's a terrible subtitle... another guilty pleasure of mine, is that I like UNDERWORLD, which is hard to justify after the second movie fucked it up (that Super-Vampire guy was fucking cool though). I don't think we really needed a prequel though.

NOTORIOUS

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/notorious/

A biopic that I actually give a fuck about. I's gotta represent for Biggie, yo! Still... I can't believe they made a movie about Biggie before they made a movie about Tupac. That seems fucked up somehow. Either way... this movie will have a great soundtrack.

THE SPIRIT

http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/thespirit/

I can't help but feel that this film will quite possibly be fucking unwatchable. It looks like Frank Miller jerked off onto celuloid. Good GOD. >_<

HOUSE

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/house/

Is this a remake of the 1980's movie HOUSE (I can't actually remember what that movie was about...)? Or is this a really off the wall theatrical re-imagining of the popular TV medical drama, HOUSE?

MY TOP FIVE ANIME: AMENDMENT

I fucked up on my list of Top Five Anime. I spent a lot of time and thought doing the Manga list, and then I sort of rushed through the Anime list. ^_^;;; So I'm going to amend it right now... After much deliberation, there are only things things that really remain from the original list... COWBOY BEBOP and AKIRA.

FLCL



I somehow overlooked FLCL while I was writing up my original list, and it hit me a few days after on the bus while I was listening to the OST (Original Sound Track) on the way to work. I don't know how it slipped my mind, but FLCL is definately in my top five.

Why FLCL? Probably because it is the most wholely original thing I've ever seen. FLCL is almost like DEADWOOD in that it's an intellectual exercise at times, and requires multiple viewings to "get" it. On the surface, everything about it seems random; complete CHAOS. From the way things just seem to happen with no context, to the often DRASTIC changes in the animation style, FLCL doesn't appear to be about anything at first... it's constantly movie, and the pace is breakneck at best, with explosive action ever 2 minutes. It's actually the quieter moments in the show that seem out of place when they occur. Everything happens so fast that you can barely keep up, so on your first viewing you have no way of processing what's going on; instead you're wowed by the visuals, entertained by the comedy, and excited by the action.

Upon a second viewing, you begin to sort out the chaos. You catch the small, subtle, plot points laid in admist the robots, explosions, gunfights, and guitar bludgeonings, and realise that it's actually a story about how fucked up adults are and how children should be in no hurry to lose that innocence and imagination (according to the commentary, that's what the whole "smoothing out the wrinkles" thing means... apparently the wrinkles in your your brain are what defines who you are as an individual, so to take over the world MEDICAL MECHANICA builds a giant iron to smooth over peoples individuality and turn them into robots).

It's kind of hard to really explain the genius of FLCL... you have to actually watch it... TWICE... to get how fucking good it is, and then you'll want to keep rewatching it, because it never gets old.

MACROSS PLUS



I have no idea how I overlooked MACROSS PLUS... this show was so important to my becoming involved in anime, and actually changed the way I look at science fiction in general.

MACROSS PLUS has all the staples of a good sci-fi story; robots, action, explosions, an AI run amok, and philosophical musings into the nature of the human soul. But the other thing it has is romance. It's the first sci-fi action story where I've actually cared about the characters, and realized that all the robots and action are secondary elements in what is really a story about what makes people drift apart and how love isn't always perfect and beautiful; that it can also be painful and messy. It's also about the compromises you make as a adult. Myung gives up her dream and it nearly destroys her, while Isamu lives the carefree life of a teenager in constant pursuit of his dream; alienatinng everyone around him as a result. Gaul sacrifices the most, though, giving up his friendship, humanity, and then finally his life.

Now, while MACROSS PLUS stands pretty well along, it is part of the massively popular MACROSS (ROBOTECH) franchise, and has one of that franchise most definative plot points... music. Every single MACROSS spinoff, prequel, sequel, or re-imagining somehow revolves around music, and in most cases it's pretty heavy handed, or shoehorned in (Minmei for example... but the most baffling was MACROSS 7 in which the Veritech's are actually powered by rock and roll. >_<). MACROSS PLUS is the first of this series where the music as a McGuffin actually works seamlessly. Of course, it helps that this is probably one of Yoko Kanno's most definative soundtracks. NINJA SCROLL



NINJA SCROLL is probably what actually got me interested in Japanese culture, as it was my first real exposure to the history (sort of) of Japan. Beyond that, I really don't know what to say. I'd only been watching anime for, what, a year or two on SCI-FI Channel and TELETOON, and the thing that intrigued me the most about anime was the excessive sex and violence; and at that point, and possibly to this say, NINJA SCROLL was the most graphic thing I'd ever seen, while still being somehow poetic and beautiful. Having rewatched it numerous times, I can't help but be astonished by how fucking TIGHT it is from a storytelling standpoint. Nothing is wasted. The movie almost literally perfect to me. I cannot find a single flaw.

Above is the best fight scene ever put to film, though I wish I could have found the english dubbed version, as it remains one of the best dubs ever produced, and has my favorite line of all time. Genma bursts forth from the molten gold and grabs onto Jubei's leg, burning him with his vise-like grip. Jubei turns and raises his sword, screaming his parting words at his immortal, unkillable foe, "GENMA! BURN IN YOUR GOLDEN HELL!" before slicing his arm off and condemning him to eternal living hell, frozen solid as a living gold statue.

SICK.

Anyways, apologies... these three, plus COWBOY BEBOP and AKIRA are my five favorites of all time, just narrowly beating out the others, which would be six, seven, and eight.